Isn’t it funny how a stranger can break your heart by just existing?
Today on the train home I was sitting across from this perfectly round, middle-aged man who took up a little more than one seat. Kinda like a Danny Devito, but much less charismatic and much more sweet.
This man started breaking my heart when he rushed into the train and was by himself. He quickly set down his tattered briefcase and snugged himself into his seat, probably making his seat mate a bit uncomfortable but choosing to ignore it, like he probably always does when his size is uncomfortable for others, but there isn’t much to do about it. Then he continued breaking my heart as when I realized that, according to his ring finger, he isn’t married - which causes me to come to the conclusion that he’s quite possibly a bit lonely (I know, I know, he could be in a very rewarding loving relationship, but in this moment of empathy, he isn’t). Then, a homeless man starts his up-and-down strut through the car asking for change - as he gets down to our end, my round friend hoists himself up awkwardly, not a quick move for someone of his shape, to get some spare change out of his back pocket. By the time he’s got it, the homeless man has turned away and didn’t even notice the gesture, leaving my friend jilted by a bum, and with no receiver of his generosity. Lastly, he broke me heart when I realized that his eyes looked a bit wet and weary, like maybe he’d just had a really long day and just couldn’t take one more thing without an internal breakdown.
I might be making it all up, but I’ve had lots of subway heartbreak lately.